Catholic Rite of Baptism

So, I’m watching the History Channel the other day (don’t judge, everyone has their guilty pleasures), and they drop this bombshell: the Catholic rite of baptism was originally a form of exorcism. Apparently, those adorable little bundles of joy are actually vessels of “Original Sin” and need to be cleansed by the power of the Church.

Now, I’ve always been skeptical of organized religion, but this takes the cake. Exorcising a baby? Seriously? What could a newborn possibly have done to warrant such a dramatic intervention? Did they steal the last cookie from the communion plate? Did they spit up on the priest’s robes?

But wait, there’s more. Apparently, the “Traditional Catholic Baptism” has even more exorcisms than the new one. Because, you know, one good demon-banishing just isn’t enough. We need to make sure those babies are extra-squeaky clean.

And then there’s this dystopian novel, “Children of Men,” where people are so desperate for something to baptize that they’re holding elaborate ceremonies for kittens. Kittens! In flowing white christening dresses and lace bonnets. I can’t even begin to process the layers of absurdity there.

But back to the exorcism thing. The Catholic Church claims that all humans are born with Original Sin, which makes us “children of wrath” and “servants of sin.” “Since Baptism signifies liberation from sin and from its instigator the devil, one or more exorcisms are pronounced over the candidate.” (Catechism 1237) So, we need an exorcism to free us from the clutches of Satan. Because, of course, the only way to get rid of sin is to perform a ritual that looks like something out of a horror movie.  

And what exactly does this exorcism entail? Well, here’s a snippet from the “Prayer of Exorcism and Anointing before Baptism”: “Almighty and ever-living God, you sent your only Son into the world to cast out the power of Satan, spirit of evil… We pray for N./and N. Set them free from original sin, make them a temple of your glory…”  

It gets even more intense in the “extraordinary form of the baptismal rite”: “I exorcise thee, unclean spirit, in the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit… accursed devil, acknowledge thy sentence, and give honor to the living and true God…”

I mean, come on! This isn’t just dipping a baby in water; it’s full-on spiritual warfare against an invisible enemy that apparently resides in every newborn.

Look, I get that people find comfort in their religious beliefs. But this whole baptism-as-exorcism thing is just bizarre. Can’t we just welcome children into the world with love and acceptance, instead of subjecting them to ancient rituals based on outdated and frankly ridiculous ideas?

Just a thought.

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