Decoding the 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth: Breaking Down the Tricky Language

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You might’ve seen me touch on the 11 Satanic Rules before, but this time, we’re diving deep. No fluff, just straight-up, no-nonsense breakdowns.

The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth are often seen as straightforward, no-nonsense guidelines. But let’s be real—some of the language can make you feel like you need a translator. So, let’s cut the crap and break down each of these rules in plain, everyday language—Grumps style.

Rule 1: “Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.”

This one’s simple: keep your mouth shut unless someone specifically asks for your two cents. Unsolicited advice is just another way of saying, “Hey, let me impose my worldview on you.” In Satanism, we’re big on minding our own business, so unless someone drags you into their drama, stay out of it.

Rule 2: “Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.”

We’ve all got our own sh*t to deal with. This rule is about not being that person who unloads their problems on others without checking if they care. It’s called self-awareness, people. Unless someone’s got a sign on their forehead saying, “Tell me your life story,” maybe keep the pity party to yourself.

Rule 3: “When in another’s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.”

“Lair” might sound like something out of a cheesy villain’s hideout, but all it means is someone else’s space. The rule is dead simple: if you’re in someone’s territory, don’t be a jerk. Respect their rules, or stay the hell away. Your presence isn’t a gift—earn your spot by not being an ass.

Rule 4: “If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.”

Now, this one might raise some eyebrows. But here’s the deal: your space, your rules. If someone’s acting up in your home, you don’t have to play nice. In your own domain, you set the tone. If they can’t respect that, show them the door—literally or metaphorically.

Rule 5: “Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.”

Here’s where some folks might get tripped up, but it’s really just about consent. The “mating signal” isn’t some mystical vibe—it’s clear, enthusiastic permission. If you’re not sure the other person is into it, don’t make a move. Simple as that. Respecting boundaries is non-negotiable.

Rule 6: “Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.”

Translation: Don’t steal. But if someone’s practically begging you to take something off their hands, go ahead. This is about respecting ownership but also recognizing when someone’s ready to let go. If they don’t want it anymore and ask you to take it, no harm, no foul.

Rule 7: “Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires.”

Don’t let the word “magic” confuse you—we’re not talking about hocus-pocus. In Satanism, “magic” refers to your ability to influence the world around you through willpower and strategy. If you’ve managed to bend reality to your will, give yourself credit where it’s due. Own your successes—they didn’t happen by accident.

Rule 8: “Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.”

Here’s a reality check: if you’ve chosen to be in a situation, don’t whine about it. This rule is all about taking responsibility for your choices. If you don’t like it, change it. But if you’ve willingly subjected yourself to something, keep the complaints to yourself. You’ve made your bed, now lie in it—or get the hell out of it.

Rule 9: “Do not harm little children.”

This one’s as clear as day: leave the kids alone. They represent innocence and vulnerability. If you’re strong, you don’t need to prove it by bullying those who can’t defend themselves. Real power is protecting the weak, not exploiting them.

Rule 10: “Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.”

This isn’t a license for animal cruelty. It’s about respecting life, but also recognizing that survival sometimes requires tough choices. If an animal is a threat or you need it for sustenance, it’s justified. But don’t go around harming animals for the hell of it—there’s no honor in that.

Rule 11: “When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.”

Here’s the bottom line: live and let live, but don’t let anyone mess with you. The first part is about minding your own business—don’t go looking for trouble. But if someone’s stupid enough to start something with you, you have every right to finish it. Stand your ground, and don’t take sh*t from anyone.

Wrapping It Up

The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth are more than just edgy-sounding commandments—they’re practical, no-nonsense guidelines for living with integrity, respecting boundaries, and maintaining your own power. Whether it’s about asserting yourself in your own space, understanding the importance of consent, or recognizing when to take strong action, these rules are all about living authentically and responsibly.

So, the next time someone tries to make these rules sound like some cryptic code, you’ll know better. These aren’t just rules—they’re the backbone of living like a true Satanist: with power, purpose, and respect. And remember, don’t just read them—live them.

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