Faith’s Rollercoaster: New Paths, Old Questions – Mormonism and Beyond

Alright, folks, buckle up because we’re diving into another chapter of my spiritual rollercoaster ride. If you thought my early days with Seventh-day Adventism were a trip, wait until you hear about my detour through Mormonism and my revisitation of Wicca and Paganism. Yep, I’ve seen a bit of everything, and it’s been a wild ride.

The Mormon Years: Chasing Eternal Families and a Whole Lot More

So, picture this: I’m in my late 20s, and along comes a woman—a Mormon woman, to be exact. Now, let’s be real, my initial interest in the Mormon Church wasn’t exactly driven by divine inspiration. It was more about getting closer to her, but hey, sometimes we end up where we’re meant to be by following our hearts (or something like that).

Here’s the thing, the idea of a latter-day prophet didn’t faze me. After growing up with Seventh-day Adventist teachings, the concept of modern-day prophets was old news. What really pulled me in was the Mormon doctrine of eternal families. The thought of being reunited with my father in the afterlife? Sign me up! That promise had a strong appeal, even if some of the other teachings were, well, a bit out there.

Now, let’s talk about what was familiar and what was new. The dietary rules? Not as strict as the Adventist ones, but still no coffee, no alcohol, and caffeine was a no-go too. The Mormons were a bit more lenient on dancing, which was a nice change, but playing cards? Still kinda frowned upon, though they’d let it slide. But the biggest difference was the emphasis on having a “Calling.” In the Mormon Church, everyone’s got a job, even if it’s just being a home teacher. And let’s not forget the gender-segregated instruction hours—yep, there were special meetings just for the guys.

One thing that really stood out was the first Sunday of every month—Fast and Testimony meeting. This wasn’t your typical church service. We’d fast, donate what we would’ve spent on food to help the needy, and then share our devotion to the church and its teachings. It was a unique blend of spirituality and community that I hadn’t seen before. Then there was the weekly communion, done with water and wonder bread (because, you know, no wine or grape juice allowed). And did I mention that every male over the age of eight held the priesthood? Talk about responsibility!

While the promise of eternal families was comforting, there were some doctrines that just didn’t sit right with me. Take the whole “you’ll become a god of your own world” thing, for instance. Interesting, sure, but also a bit weird. And baptism for the dead? I understood where they were coming from, but it didn’t quite click for me.

Eventually, the constant demand for my time and energy started to wear me down. When I wasn’t earning money to pay my tithes, I was expected to dedicate my free time to the church. My role as secretary to the Bishopric made it even harder to balance everything, and being miles away from my family didn’t help. That’s when the doubts really started to creep in.

Revisiting Wicca and Paganism: A Second Go-Round

Fast forward to my late 30s, and life threw another curveball my way. I reconnected with the woman who would become my second wife—this time, a full-on Wiccan Esoteric Witch. And you know what? I figured, why not give Wicca and Paganism another shot? I was older, maybe a little wiser, and definitely more serious about this spiritual exploration thing.

Our marriage ceremony was something else. It was all about mutual respect and being civil to each other, even if things didn’t work out—a refreshing change from the pressure I’d felt before. We also dedicated our child to the Goddess under the light of the moon, and for a while, everything felt pretty damn awesome. Spiritually, I thought I was on the right track. After all, I was dealing with gods, goddesses, and all sorts of things that go bump in the night.

But as time went on, I started to feel like I was just going through the motions. The rituals were cool, but they didn’t fill that void I was trying to fill. Instead, I found myself wondering if any faith had all the answers or if the truth was scattered across them all. Maybe, just maybe, the key to understanding life, the universe, and everything wasn’t about finding the “right” faith, but about exploring as many as possible.

In some ways, I was happier during this time than I had been as a Mormon. I felt more like myself, free to enjoy life without the constant guilt or pressure to conform. But even so, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was still missing.

Moving Towards a New Understanding: The Next Step

So, what did I learn from all this? Well, for one, I realized that every faith has something to offer, but none of them gave me the whole picture. I was left with more questions than answers and a burning desire to keep searching for the truth. This period of my life wasn’t an ending—it was just the beginning of the next phase of my spiritual journey.

The next step? Exploring even more faiths, trying to piece together the puzzle of existence. I wasn’t done yet, not by a long shot.

In the final part of this series, I’ll take you through my journey into atheism and my eventual embrace of Satanism. Trust me, you won’t want to miss where this rollercoaster ride takes me next.

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